This will be perhaps the saddest journal entry to date. Today my oldest daughter tried to commit suicide. She took a bunch of pills with her to school and swallowed them down during P.E. School officals found out and she was rushed by ambulance to Memphis. Luckily, they got to her in time. As I write this she is in a psychiatric ward in Memphis under watch. Tommorrow she will talk to a counselor and hopefully they will give her the help she needs. To my deep sorrow, I am unable to help her because she won't talk to me anymore.

What little I did get out of her and others I was able to paint into a picture of her life at school. Despite my orders she had a boyfriend at school. Apparently, she broke up with him recently because she wouldn't have sex with him. Now, he is dating her friend and is scornful of my daughter. So much so that hes been hitting her. Then to boot, my daughter got involved with a group of "misfit" kids who had a suicide pact. About a month ago one of her friends in this group tried to kill herself the same way. Also, because she is from California and considered a "Yankee" she is considered an outcast. Everyone thinks she is "too smart" to be a cool kid.

I am personally heartbroken about this whole affair. I find myself wanting to murder this verminous piece of southern white trash that hurt my daughter. Our family has been through so much pain and anguish. We don't need this pile of infectious human waste adding to our grief. I want so much to go to her school tommorrow and confront him. But, I fear that my rage would carry me too far and I would be spending hard time in the Mississippi chain gangs.

I feel so helpless. Like a shepherd trying in vain to protect his flock from a pack of hyenas. I don't know what to do. Now, I fear for everyone here. This cuts at the very core of my identity as a man, as a father. Why now!?!? Why ever?!?! I hate this world all the more for kicking a person when they are down. All honor, all justice, all the ideals that we hold as noble are dead to this scab we call a society. How will we survive? We have no family or friends who will come to our aid. Everyone just sits from afar and says "oh poor you" and in the back of their minds their saying "I'm glad it's not my kid". We are lost and alone, left to die in this wretched wasteland.

But, this place will not be the death of us. I will not see us overcome. We are Armenian, survivors of endless massacres and the unwanted children of this earth. To that end we are leaving this place. Mississippi, hell the whole South can kiss my rebel ass! Let them plow over their wild places and turn their daughters to whores. We will not be lost to their heartless ways. We are better than this. By the end of this month we will be gone, or I will be dead... That is my oath as God and everyone reading this writing is my witness. No more will this wasteland and their dead hearts hear the name of Kalayjian.