Nothing like putting your weblog in a new format and republishing the entire site. It's kinda like changing your underwear. :-)

I've been watching the kids alot today and I realized for sure something that I have always suspected; girls toys are boring. My son recieved several interesting toys for Christmas like Hulk Hands and transformers. Likewise, the girls received several gifts that they requested. However, they always seem to want to play with my sons stuff. It's actually great for him just because he has others to play with doing what he wants. But, I feel sorry for the girls just because they are stuck in their gender stereotypes.

Maybe next year I'll buy them all boy toys. Remote control cars, boxing gloves, play swords, etc...

Off we go tonight for Nativity services at our Church. Everyone is in a pretty good mood except for my wife. She's kinda running ragged and letting herself get upset over every little thing. I know she worries about everything and feels like she has to do everything around here. In alot of ways she is a remarkable woman, to take on the blessing of 6 kids. I am lucky to have her.

The Christmas spirit is moving through our household today. Everyone is in a good mood and we are spending the day relaxing and listening to christmas music. Thankfully. we finished our shopping. Tommorrow we head to Church for the nativity celebration. Unfortunatley, no snow but we really didn't expect it this year.

Despite all we have gone through and still face, I am in a remarkably good mood. I guess it just comes from not having to worry about things that are out of my control. Of course, that peace only comes to someone who has faith in God and knows that the future is bright.

I said that I had a new perspective on things after seeing Return of the King. I am ready to talk about that now; all my life I have lived in a state of distrust in others. In fact, I really hated anyone that was no in my own circle of trusted people. I especially hated anyone with money. Now I see that this is wrong. I should give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and not be judgemental. I know I hate to be judged. That is I think what I was brought here to learn and to atone for.

How this relates to ROTK I can't really tell you... It was just an epiphany of sorts. I think what that movie did show me is that all of us, whether we know it or not, yearn for unconditional love. We want a ruler/king that honestly cares for us. And we want friends that will stand by us through all tribulations whether we deserve it or not.

I guess ultimately, I need to hate the world as I do, but love the people in it even if they don't deserve it.

Saw a great program on public television tonight. It detailed excursion railroads throughout the United States. Of course, one of the ones they featured was the Mount Shasta scenic train. It made me lonesome for home to see the mountain again.

Lately, I've been wondering what was going through my mind last year when we were still in Siskiyou County. I looked at all the things I wanted to do when we moved back there and all the things I still want to do. Like go to the caves or visit all the places around there that I loved. We didn't even go sledding in the winter! I just sat around lamenting about being injured and badmouthing Mordor.

I know that if we somehow make it back I'll not do that again. I want to take the girls camping in the deep woods, I want to raft down the Sacramento River, I want to be alive again and enjoy the things I once loved. I want to show these joys to my kids.

So much time and energy is wasted on chasing the better life. Games Workshop was a monumental mistake. I should have stayed in Mount Shasta and made a life for us there. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20.

Perhaps I said it once before... every time we left Siskiyou County we met with disaster. It's only when we lived there that we had a comfortable and happy life.