Throughout my life I have worked hard to adhere to two basic principles regarding my interpersonal relationships. First, I am slow to take offense at what people say. I guess I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. Second, I am quick to lay aside my pride and seek peace with people I am mad at or are mad at me.
This basic philosophy has been ingrained in me by my adherance to Christian belief. First from Protestant, then to a much greater extent when I embraced Orthodox Christianity.
But, in light of my continuous troubles with people I once called friends, I have been rethinking this concept. Now, this is not to say that I am "losing my religion", its just that perhaps I have misinterpreted the words of Christ and the holy fathers, and have taken them to their idiot extremes.
For instance, in the past I have had people do things to me that have been well in the range of unforgivable. However, in almost every instance I have sought them out and worked overly hard to prove to them that I have forgiven them, and let bygones be bygones.
But, where the misunderstanding lies is the fact that I have forced reconciliation on those that did not want it and were not sorry for the things they did. This simple concept escaped me until I came across a passage in a book entitled "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius.
To be readily recalled to reconciliation with those who have taken or given offense, just as soon as they themselves are willing to turn back.
Now, Marcus Aurelius was an Emperor of Rome, and his book is what you want to read if you desire to understand Stoicism. Theologians know that it was Stoicism that greatly influenced early Christianity. So, my question is that where along the way did it switch from forgiveness with reciprocation to unconditional forgiveness?
