The shelter of Cynicism

Human relationships and their subtle intricacies have never been my strong suite. In fact, I should say that I have a general dislike and mistrust of people. This is an easy thing to say, especially when dealing with another person who is being unreasonable in some way. But, I think I can honestly say that I am shifting in the direction of Cynic philosophy.

Cynicism was born out of Socratic dialogue, and was further advanced by later philosophers such as Diogenes of Synope, Antisthenes, and ultimately, Zeno. It seeks to question the value of practices such as social relationships, morality, and human customs. Specifically, it questions whether these things stand in the way of individual happiness. It promotes virtue, and rationality as the highest values.

I find that as I get older I am having a harder time being patient with social dealings and the fickle manipulations that people press on myself and others. It's almost as if from our very first meeting that people are trying to manipulate me into something that is more pleasing to themselves. Also, I am tired of people with control issues that want to induce compliance in me with their plans and schemes.

Going with the ideas of Diogenes, I am finding the model/life of the Dog as being the ideal form of existence. The Dog does not try to change who you are, instead they accept the reality of the social relationship and attempts to live their life around it, and in harmony with it. The Dog does not mince words or beat around the bush, they call the situation as they see it and either reject it, or accept it. This is not the life of slavery or abject compliance, instead it is true pragmatism. In the words of the Stoic, it is not trying to control reality, but controlling your reaction to the truth of the situation.

This mindset reminds me of Joaquin Miller's characterization of the Modoc indians in his book "Life Amongst the Modocs". He said that the indians never try to convince or argue with someone when they have made a decision. No, this is considered the height of impoliteness. Instead, they respect one another enough to accept that choice whether they agree with it or not. Again, all they can control is their reaction to the truth.

Applying this to my life when I have a wife, children, friends and family who rely upon me for support and love has been difficult. Often, they just want to focus on their self interest and hope that their loved ones will back them up. Oddly though, this life of acceptance and straightforwardness is the best manner in which to deal with one another devoid of strife and angst. But, the world has taught them that manipulation and sarcasm is the best way to advance their selfishness.

In short, people don't know how to deal with a honest, straight shooting person. That is why we as a culture fail so much.