Found this article on Yahoo.
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The 9 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship
1) Your friend is jealous of you. Jealousy is different than envy and the first can be very toxic for the relationship. Jealousy is: "I want what you have and I want you dead or disappeared." Envy is just: "I want what you have." A jealous friend will want to cut you out of her life because she really wants what you have and can’t stand to be around you anymore. An envious friend will want what you have, but will look to you as her inspiration or role model, and compete with you to get in the lead.
2) Your friend is a "doormat": It’s tiring to always be with someone who is so malleable.
3) Your friend wasn’t there for you. It’s sometimes hard to see if a friend is really a true pal until there is a life-changing moment in your life that requires the person’s support. This eye-opening event is called The Inciting Incident, which is when everything is going along fine, until wham! someone gets sick, or loses their job, or gets married or loses a loved one, and you find that the friend you thought would be by your side isn’t there for you at all. She doesn’t celebrate your good news nor does she help you in times of need. For some women it takes an "inciting incident" to finally notice that a friend is toxic.
4) Your friend is draining you: You feel you’re psychologically and emotionally giving all your energy to her and receiving nothing in return.
5) You don’t share the same values or the same world view: It’s a red flag that this isn’t the right friend for you if you don’t respect her for who she is. I interviewed a woman who wished her friend’s husband ill. It made the married woman realize that her friend’s behavior is nothing like her own.
6) You are using one another: This type of toxic relationship develops among socialites. You want to be friends with your neighbor because your children attend the same private school and you can coordinate a carpool. Will the friendship last? Maybe. Is there really a friendship between the mothers or is it just using? Is it worth turning this friendship into anything more than an agreement?
7) The relationship offers no return on investment: This is similar to a friend who is draining you – but this isn’t just an emotional give and take. If you are the one calling your friend to make plans and going out of your way to be with her, but she makes no attempt to go out of her way for you, then she’s not meeting you halfway.
8) Your friend is harming someone else or doing something illicit. Do you want to be associated with someone who is morally unjust? That’s a judgment call on your part.
9) Your friend burdens you with a secret: Your friend trusts you by sharing the details of her affair, but keeping the secret has weighed on you emotionally. You might want to keep your distance. If you’re too close to this woman and the secret is really impacting your life for the worse, it’s time to disengage yourself.
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I just found this interesting, thats all.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Madness
Sometimes I feel like I am a ghost in the world of the living. Or perhaps, I am living in a world of ghosts. I sit and watch people lost in their worlds. I wonder if they can actually see me.
I have been reflecting on the political climate in this country. I was watching CNN today as they covered the huge protest of President Obama in Washington over the weekend. I was not so focused on the coverage, as I was on the protests themselves(probably due to my general distrust of news sources). I really wonder why people are so against national health care. I hear their arguements, and they make no sense, they seem to be born out of fear and ignorance. Why is it so bad that everyone, young, old, wealthy, poor, receives health care? A few years ago we were up in arms about the poor quality of care we get from HMOs. Now we are worried about government run care? I'd much rather face down a bureaucrat to get the care I need then to have to deal with a greedy corporate stooge.
Today, I went to the doctor for the first time in a very long time. I have a sore on my foot that I thought was a spider bite, ends up its a skin infection. Through Chico State I have health insurance(note: its government run care). I was in and out in a relatively short period of time with a perscription I paid $7 for. A few short weeks ago I would not have been able to get treatment for this sore. Who knows what would have happened then. What is more expensive, simple care for an infection, or amputating a foot?
During the CNN coverage of the protests in D.C. there was a woman they interviewed. She appeared to be a fat, middle class, uneducated housewife from somewhere in rural America. She was holding a sign that portrayed Obama as an African witch doctor. She said to the reporter that America should not have to suffer under tyranny. You know, she was absolutely right. We are free people and should not have to endure the tyranny of the masses, of money and of greed. We should expect our leaders to do what is right, not what is popular.
I hope that history remembers this time as a new rights movement in America. A movement for the rights of the poor and the beaten down. Perhaps someday we as a people will cease following the ideals of self serving men and look to what is right for everyone.
I have been reflecting on the political climate in this country. I was watching CNN today as they covered the huge protest of President Obama in Washington over the weekend. I was not so focused on the coverage, as I was on the protests themselves(probably due to my general distrust of news sources). I really wonder why people are so against national health care. I hear their arguements, and they make no sense, they seem to be born out of fear and ignorance. Why is it so bad that everyone, young, old, wealthy, poor, receives health care? A few years ago we were up in arms about the poor quality of care we get from HMOs. Now we are worried about government run care? I'd much rather face down a bureaucrat to get the care I need then to have to deal with a greedy corporate stooge.
Today, I went to the doctor for the first time in a very long time. I have a sore on my foot that I thought was a spider bite, ends up its a skin infection. Through Chico State I have health insurance(note: its government run care). I was in and out in a relatively short period of time with a perscription I paid $7 for. A few short weeks ago I would not have been able to get treatment for this sore. Who knows what would have happened then. What is more expensive, simple care for an infection, or amputating a foot?
During the CNN coverage of the protests in D.C. there was a woman they interviewed. She appeared to be a fat, middle class, uneducated housewife from somewhere in rural America. She was holding a sign that portrayed Obama as an African witch doctor. She said to the reporter that America should not have to suffer under tyranny. You know, she was absolutely right. We are free people and should not have to endure the tyranny of the masses, of money and of greed. We should expect our leaders to do what is right, not what is popular.
I hope that history remembers this time as a new rights movement in America. A movement for the rights of the poor and the beaten down. Perhaps someday we as a people will cease following the ideals of self serving men and look to what is right for everyone.
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