Okay, here we go with a major addition to this blog...

I have come to an opinion on my view of the South and Southrons. I used to think that their slow, provential ways were a product of courtesy and manners. Now I realize that is not the case. In careful examination and ponderance I believe that these traits are a product of arrogance and pridefulness. I had always seen the stereotype of the "southern belle" and believed that it was derived from a lack of understanding in the culture. But, it seems that most Southrons share a trait with this stereotype, and that is a strong vein of judgementalism.

Anyone who has ever known me knows that judgementalism is a major pet peeve for me. I don't do it to others and I experience great personal rage when others do it to me. Yet, it seems to be ingrained in the psyche of the people here. Much to my grief.

I look back to my life as a kid living in Oregon. In a town called Myrtle Creek I was in paradise. There were no ugly developments to blight the land with acres of pastel cookiecutter houses and vinyl siding. Everything was built into old brick buildings. That was my hometown. Now everywhere I go I see but faint shadows of that place. Enough to painfully remind me of a world that is lost.

Living in California with their endless lines of tract housing and stripmalls on every corner, I thought that the rest of the world as more like Myrtle Creek. I hoped that by coming to the South I would find that hometown again and recapture the innocence that is lost to the world. Sadly, that is not the case. This place is growing like mad with an ever encroaching sea of ugly hovels and every manner of commercial excess that one could imagine. I guess I quietly weep inside and hate the people that destroy such places for their own profit/amusement.

The other day someone asked me why I always wear black. This is why! I set myself apart from the world. If you don't understand then you never will. But know that in the Tolkien sense of the world I believe that the Orcs won the war and now rule. The dream of Saruman is being brought to reality. Yet there are no riders of Rohan nor armies of Ents to stop it. Shadow has fallen... and we are all doomed.

Still homesick.... really homesick! This morning I laid on my bed and daydreamed about being in Siskiyou county again. I yearn to smell the mountain air again. And I sorely miss all my friends. You'd think that with all the moving I did in my life I'd be used to adapting to new places. I guess my soul yearns to call a place home again. 8 years in Mordor, then 2 years back on my mountain, now I'm here. If I could only find a happy medium with a place i can be happy in and make a good living like my family needs and deserves.