Well, I must say that the events that transpired today are leading me to becoming a grumpy and sarcastic son-of-a-bitch. The loan committee turned us down because they think our product line only appeals to a narrow market, thus making us a risk. This despite the fact that we have 3 years of market research into this area, and we have several years of business experience along with previous experience with an identical venture in this market. Needless to say I am furious. I feel like I've been discriminated against and that the loan committee did not do their job in seriously considering and weighing the business plan. The committee liason basically said he thinks the committee did not understand the product or the proposal and rejected it out of ignorance.

So, from here I have to weigh my options. I could wait until next year when I may receive a settlement from my injury. Or, I may try to raise money to start the business from scratch like I did before. Either way I'll not need help from any financial institution. In fact, I am considering taking an oath never to fill out another credit application or authorizing anyone to run my credit ever again. I believe that the credit industry is the "Mark of the Beast" laid out in the book of Revealation. Scripture says the mark will be required to buy and sell. Well, credit is the closest thing I can see to that, and it's just gonna get worse. Sure, a proponent may say that credit is necessary to weed out dishonest people and to keep financial institutions and investors informed about their prospects. But, I am a poor man with 6 children. Several times in my life I've had to make the decision wether to pay a bill or feed my kids. In my mind there is no contest! Because of that I am branded as dishonest for having late payments and outragous unpaid fees on my report. It is evil and violates the admonition to avoid "usury".

There was once a time that a man's word was his bond and that people would trust each other out of co-dependency. Once there was a time that if someone was down on their luck then creditors would be lenient. But, now the world revolves around the "bottom line" and things like honor and trust are gone. In a better world those people on that loan committee would have seen an ambitious young man with a plan to make it big. They would have taken a chance. Especially with money granted to the city to help low income people start a small business. But, this is our modern age and we are so advanced and civilized. To Hell with these black hearted Republicans!!!!!

Well, I've taken another step towards being a cyborg. Today I saw the dentist again and he prepared my tooth for a cap. He installed an anchor and rounded my tooth off for the final fitting in two weeks. During the procedure he accidentally touched my tongue with his drill. Ouch! Other than that I am in little pain from the procedure.

While we were gone today the loan committee called about our loan. Unfortunately, it was too late to call them when we got home so we may find out tommorrow if we have the loan. I am so anxious to start my business and begin doing something with my time and talents.

My Armenian friend was pretty upset today because the prosecutors in the case against him contacted his lawyer about some small details in the case. They have until next week to decide if they are going to refile charges. He's worried that they will refile and drag this whole mess on for another 6 months. Personally, I think they won't refile and he'll be good to go. But, it's hard to convince him of that. We'll see soon. Meanwhile, I'm considering raising money to help him pay his lawyer. I doubt he will accept it but, I'll try anyway.

Finally, last night we spoke to Tess on the phone. My wife called her at work and she seemed in a good mood. I think she was thrilled that we called her. As the time for her to move here gets closer I hope we can stay in touch a bit better.

I caught this interesting article on Yahoo! news about overwork and undersleep causing an increase in heart attacks among men. Well DUH!! Why is it so hard for people to understand that humans were not designed to live highly stressful, meaningless lives. We are farmers and hunters meant to live a quiet, slow, and fullfilling life. In the 9 months that I have been on disability I've adjusted to a younger, vigorous, and more happy person. I'll never go back to being the "company man". I'll be my own man. Now, if only my business will get off the ground I'll be off and running.

I've been expecting to hear from Tess for a couple days now but, nothing so far. I'm afraid she is mad at me for what I said about her boyfriend. If so, I'm not sure why because she plans to leave him anyway. I did find out one interesting thing. Talking to her brother I found out that her family doesn't like her boyfriend either. They say he talks down to them. I guess Tess's mother was really offended by the way he spoke to her during dinner one time. He works as a nurse caring for mental patients so I think he has a tendency of talking that way even when he doesn't know it.

My landlady sent a handyman here today to take care of some repairs around the place. He cleaned up the back yard and got prepared to rebuild the fence. The place looks great! Tommorrow he plans to crawl under the house and fix a broken pipe. It's nice to get some stuff taken care of by your landlord. I told my wife today that this is the first house that I felt really comfortable in. There is a spirit of calmness and happiness here. I plan to stay here untill we get kicked out or we buy a house. Hopefully the latter will happen instead of the former.

Well, here goes another personality test:

My sphere is Ronin (Look for great Ambition and Success), and my class is Champion (Self-Righteous and Confident). I am a Vigilante. When it comes to action, you stand alone. You may possess great valor and self-righteousness, Vigilante, but chances are, you may be torn between looking out for your beliefs, and looking out for yourself. A real anti-hero. Try not to step on anyone's toes, and in time you'll find those who will be your admirers. What kind of Warrior are you?

This was a good test. Not from the outcome standpoint but, the website was well put together.

We're recovering today from a camping trip we took over the weekend. We got together with my Armenian friend and his family(yes, I forgave him) and went to the local resort. This was the first time they've ever been camping with their kids so we wanted something kinda tame. Everyone had a good time except for my wife. She was sick the entire time and just kinda brooded in the corner of the camp. I felt so sorry for her. But, she's doing much better now.

It was kinda hilarious because both families brought little in the way of blankets and sleeping bags. It got cold during the night and I think the adults got the worst of it. My Armenian friend, who's from the Arabian desert, thought he was gonna die from hypothermia. In the next camping trip, we plan to go to someplace kinda remote to give the kids a real sense of adventure, and I'm sure we'll be much more prepared.

Finally, I got my pinkslip yesterday from my former employer. I'm kinda relieved and kinda miffed about the whole thing. It's one of the last ties to bind me to Mordor. My lawyer said they have cut their own throats because they did not follow proper procedures to let me go. Technically, I was fired while I am disabled from an on-the-job injury. We'll see what happens.

Oh, one last thing. Speaking of Mordor, my good friend Amon-Ra told me that he has decided to leave that dreadfull place in 3 weeks when he gets out of technical school. I am very happy for him. Mordor has a way of chewing up small families. In the continuing curse theme of Mordor he was offered a job that would have forced him to drop out of school. The job didn't pay well but it was a bit more stable than his last job. I'm glad he chose not to take it. The Mordor curse is that about the time you're fed up and ready to leave a slightly better job offer comes around. Of course, if you take the job your worse off than before. I fell for that scheme at least 3 times in my bid to leave. I guess hindsight is truly 20/20.