Today I'm feeling good about myself. I have several leads into jobs and I think our future may be looking good. I guess it's just a matter of having faith and being positive. Yesterday it kinda hit me that I am glad about losing my job with GW. Even though we will have it hard for a while. In the end I know we will come out the better for it.

Readers of this journal know that money has been real tight for us since I got hired for GW. I think if I wouldn't have been let go I would have just hung on while we slowly starve. Now, I'll be able to move on and get a good job doing something worthwhile. Besides, if I'm working making great money I can afford to by the stuff from GW that I couldn't afford with their discount. That's kinda funny and sad at the same time.

I know it may get harder before it gets easier. But, I am armed with faith in Christ and he will see me through. It takes times like these to show us our faith and to reveal to us who our friends truely are.

Had a splendid Thanksgiving feast today. My wife made a pile of food and we did the usual gorge and nap routine. Before dinner we all took time to express the things that we are grateful for. Chief among them I am thankful that God gave me beautiful and intelligent children who have the understanding to know what they are grateful for.

Job search still continues. Found several possibilities in the railroad industry throughout the nation. I applied for jobs in Arkansas, California and here in Mississippi. Of course, I stayed honest in every application and noted that I was discharged from GW. I hope my old boss stays true to his word and gives me a good reference. He owes me that at least.

Another beam of hope showed forth from the heavens today. My mother-in-law offered to get us caught up on our car payment so we can avoid repossession. Holy Pete! I would be crushed if we lost our Jeep. I hope she comes through. Frankly, if we do lose it I see my chances of getting a job soon being slim to none. Every place I apply wants me to have reliable transportation.

Again, the uncertainty of our future lies in Gods hands.

Well, I think I can see a glimmer of hope. I've been searching online for railroad jobs and I have found several both in this area, and back in California. All of them are entry-level positions. I also spoke to my Dad today. He indicated that he knows the supervisor for the position I am seeking back home. Wow! If he can pull a few strings for me and get me in I'll take back everything bad I said about him.

Ugh it's so cold. It frosted outside last night and we couldn't turn our heater on. Needless to say the house is cold. What I wouldn't give for some California summer weather right now. Floating carelessly in Lake Siskiyou watching the clouds float by.

Don't get me wrong. I kinda like it here. It's not like in Mordor where it's miserable year round. It's just my problem with it is I love outdoor activity and there's not much to be had here. No swimming, places to hike, or even camp within miles. Sometimes solitude in the wilderness is what I need to get my head straight. I don't think that's possible here.

My wife spoke to her mom last night. Broke the bad news to her. She was naturally upset because she had plans to move here next month. I know my sweetie was looking forward to that. Anyway, I guess now she's staying in Florida which greatly limits our plans. I had thought about going to California on my own to get a job and bring the family out. Now, I don't know what we're gonna do.

Speaking of my wife, she does amaze me sometimes. I certainly do not deserve her. She is very understanding and defends me through this whole thing. She doesn't deserve a life like this. She needs someplace warm and stable. Yet, I guess I'm just not man enough to give her these things. I feel like the whole world in it's greed and selfishness stands against us.

Well, the vacation is over with and I started my job search today. I'm going into this sluggishly because I just don't want to look for another job. I want to do my old job that I was good at.

Oh well, it's probably for the best anyway. God willing I'll find something that will pay really well and we can live a comfortable life.

I got lucky applying for unemployment. Apparently, because I worked so long in Washington State I'll be able to get benefits from them. They pay almost twice what Tennessee would. Unfortunately, we won't see any money untill right before Christmas at the soonest. And then it'll have to go to keeping the lights on. Frankly, we're just not gonna have presents or even a tree this year.