Been dealing with frustration for the past couple days. Dunno why, just everything bugs me, and I don't want to do anything that requires alot of effort. Sadly, the wife and kids have been on egg shells around me. Despite what everyone thinks I don't like being a grump. I just want to be left alone with a little peace and quiet.

Tommorrow is the cutoff for the dozen or so jobs I applied for with Union Pacific. I'm hoping the ball will get rolling and I'll get a better idea of our future. I still want to move back to Siskiyou county and I want that job in Dunsmuir most of all. Though I will be happy with the other places I applied for. Overall, I think what I really want is to settle down and be secure. My goal really is just to buy a house. Anyplace will be home where I can do that. It's just I have friends and a familiar surrounding back in the mountains. If I can go there and buy a home, well that would be the pinacle of a dream come true.

Lately, I've been waking up with a pain in my side. It's in the ribs under my left arm. I don't know what it is but it sure hurts. It feels like a pain in the muscles and not in the inner organs, which is a relief. I think what it is is a spreading of the pain in my shoulder. My physical therapist from when I had the shoulder injury told me if I didn't do my exercises the injury could affect my entire left side. Especially, when I sleep because I lay funny on my left side to protect my shoulder. Of course, it doesn't help that my wife makes me sleep on the edge of the bed so she can be comfortable. I guess I'll just have to try doing my exercises again.