Well, it took a major disaster with my Iron Warriors to get me off my butt and painting again. Yesterday we decided to move our computer desk which is also my painting desk. I had my entire army perched precariously on top of a tool box. Like an idiot, I tried to put the box on top of the desk and my back seized up. I ended up dropping the whole mess. My Basilisk broke, and several of my miniatures lost limbs and guns. So, I spent part of the day today reassembling them and fixing the chipped paint jobs. In the process I finished painting my second Havok squad, and started painting my Veteran squad. Hopefully tommorow I'll keep up the momentum and get my cultists done as well.

Today I found myself thinking alot of my friend Bear. It's been amost a month since I broke the ice with him and he has yet to try to contact me. I am disappointed. I saw him a couple times on ICQ but I resisted the urge to say hi. I feel like he has to make the next move. Unfortunately, Zouave is right... I think that he won't. Bear just doesn't trust me and I don't blame him. You see I scorned him for a long time and really looked down on him. Once long ago we had a group of Jehovah's Witnesses come to our house for bible study. Bear happened to be there and started studying as well. Eventually, we gave up on their idiotic beliefs but, Bear stuck with it. It became a thorn in my side and I became ashamed of him. I always looked at him as a brilliant man but, here he was falling for their line. I guess it appealed to the "rules hound" in him. He would even try to defend it to me. I told him several times it would bring an end to our friendship but he stuck with it. I soon became very scornful and bitter toward him and his entire family. A month ago when I apologized to him it was for that scorn and shame. But, I doubt he knew that. Honestly, I'm not really sure why he is mad at me or why he still holds a grudge of this magnitude. Now, he professes to be a Pagan following the Asatru assembly. Frankly, I'm just happy that he has finally gave up on the JWs.

Going back to my thoughts about him... I found myself teetering between being angry and wanting to make another move. I am very hesitant to make an enemy. Especially, one of an old friend. But, this silence is madening! I know it is his way to ignore a problem if it doesn't bother him too much. But, I can't stand it. I can say this for sure... I will not crawl. I do have my pride. Perhaps it is as my wife suggests... That I should stop chasing people who don't want to be my friend and continue my search for those who do. I have an old pal that lives in Reno that I'd like to find again. Stout says he will get me his email address soon. Until then I'll treasure what I have and continue to keep trying to paint my Iron Warriors.