Please understand that it is not always this way. But, as I have said many times, I tend to blog about it when I am melancholy as a form of therapy.
Of course, this is once again brought on by ongoing struggles with my children. I have been harping on them to get covid vaccinations, and they present every classic argument not to get it. I have argued from logic and emotion, but they still refuse. This time around my youngest daugther laid into me that I never got her the HPV vaccination while she was a teenager. I was flabberghasted!! I barely understood HPV ten years ago, much less considered it a threat. It seemed like just another concern that pharma created to sell product. Compared to covid which is an existential threat to a large portion of the population.
Naturally, my eldest daughter gleefully jumps into the argument against me. She thinks she is convincing in such discussions but what she doesnt realize is that she attacks instead of argues, quickly turning into personal attacks. Which of course escalates into wounded feelings and going beyond what a family should say to one another. So, I back off from her vicious rapier wit out of fear and self protection. But it doesnt change the fact that they are avoiding the covid vaccination out of ignorance, and I am prevented from talking reason into them.
It is an ongoing terror to me the thought of seeing my children make mistakes, ones that could very well end their existence, but being powerless to stop it. It makes me mad, fearful and depressed. Yet no one sees my good intent and love.
I dont want to be the person that says "I told you so". So, I will wallow in paralyzing grief and depression.
Someday I will fly and leave all this grief behind me.
