So, this weekend I organized and hosted a tournament for the young people that are in our shire. My plan/hope was to encourage them to explore and experience more of what it is like to hold offices and titles in a neo-medieval society AKA the SCA. The tournament was called the Black spire tourney. One girl and one boy winner gets the privilage of bearing the title of Lord or Lady of the Black Spire.
We had 5 children take part in the contest, which involved 4 different trials, including a fighting tourney, a bardic presentation, and a cooking contest. All of the contests were judged independently, and the scores from the three judges were added up. However, the fighting competition was actually weighed lower points-wise because we didn't want the boys overwealming the girls in the physical contest.
Two of my own children took part in the spectacle, and as a judge in the competition I have to say that I scrutinized them closer and frankly expected more out of them. They both gave a somewhat token effort, and I really didn't expect them to win.
Then, something happened that surprised and astonished me. My son performed a bardic piece from Shakespear's "Henry V" with gusto and enthusiasm. So, much so that all the judges scored him with maximum points. It was enough to push him into first place.
Naturally, I was very proud of him for his effort. He showed a quality that I had never seen him. To his credit he rehearsed the speech and exceeded everyones expections. In short, he deserved to win.
However, when I announced the winners I could instantly see that there were people that were not happy about the outcome. In particular it was suggested that favoritism was at play, despite the fact that the contest was judged and scored independently.
So, in short I am left feeling guilty and miserable despite the fact that I didn't do anything wrong. I can't even express to my son my pride in him for his amazing effort.
I feel dogged in life. It just seems that no matter what I do, no matter how good my intentions or my planning, I always end up failing in some way.
"For us there is no Spring, only the winds that smell fresh before the storm" -- Conan the Barbarian
