Don't know why, I guess I just feel motivated to write in my blog today. Maybe it's to just get out some of my feelings. Isn't that really what a blog is for?
I've been down in the dumps for about a week or so. It's really hot and smoky where I live. We have forest fires burning in the hills around us. We don't really have much money to do anything at all. SCA events are kinda nixed for the year because of the gas prices. The kids are all at home and refuse to go do anything on their own. So, I feel as though the weight of entertaining them falls on me.
My friends are not much help. Tubbi seems to just call when he wants something. Emmerich wants to me come to his house, but only to help him with his projects, anything I am interested in he despises. I've been playing alot of World of Warcraft lately. But, I am very burnt out on the game and I find it hard to get motivated to do much. What I really want to do is play an RPG. But, none of my friends want to do that, so I am sunk. I also find alot of happiness playing paintball but for this or that reason my friends don't want to do that either.
Lately, I have been haunted by bizarre dreams. I won't go into any details but, they surround the idea of being free and just running into a new world. Like a wolf let out of a cage. This is topped by constant pain from my shoulder that makes sleeping at night an ordeal. Most times I stay up until I can't stay awake anymore.
All this has culminated into making me depressed. No one understands it or really even cares so, as usual, I am on my own to deal with it.
